Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
