i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
