Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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