tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Randomize
