K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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