Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
