let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
