it wasn't lemon gatorade
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
