I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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