yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I need water and some morals
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
