the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
