The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
