I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize