I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
