I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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