I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
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