yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
