So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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