He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
