Ambien. No doubt about it.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
