But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I need to stop coming to work sober
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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