hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
