do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
