I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
