I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
