im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
