Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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