The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
