I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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