i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
