pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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