Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
