Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
