tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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