omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Boobs speak an international language.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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