Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
