I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i think i have herpe
just one?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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