my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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