I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
