And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
