Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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