I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
