Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
