Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize