Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
