His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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