Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize