Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
