im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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