just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
