We won't sleep together?
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
