Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
