I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
