my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Never let your siblings swipe right.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
