You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize