i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
