I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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