Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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