Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
