from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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