her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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