I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
