Banned from zoo.
Again?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
