then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
