I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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