I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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