Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i was born a porn star she said
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Randomize
