The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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