I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
