This girl is more easily done than said...
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
