my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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