I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
