Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
