He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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