You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
