So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
